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  • Writer's pictureChef Nii

Christmas Jingle

Chale…

Bells are jiggling, it’s that time of year, once again Heaven is busy shaking its Christmas shaker, and covering the entire earth with large dozes of its Christmas cheer.




Each flake, a mere memory cloud of sights and sounds, memory clouds of moments and feelings, memory clouds of things that were said, and of things that were left unsaid, all circling back to you. So it doesn’t seem fair to welcome the cheer, when he who was craziest about it all is no longer here.



It’s getting overwhelming, most understand, for it hasn’t been a year and grief is still very near. I could succumb, I could give way to the weight of it all, and then what happens to Christmas? It will be ruined, my favourite time of the year stolen from me forever.


Your grandchildren are completely covered, covered with that raw genuine excitement the cheer brings, excited about simple things like Christmas lights. So it doesn’t seem fair to dilute their cheer with my feeling of despair.


Tis the season, once again they are gathering their fondest memories, mines intact, so who am I to tarnish theirs? But to facilitate this for them will require some work, I need to work on me so I can be good for them.


Sunshine brings warmth, it brings beaches and ice lollies, it brings pool parties and barbecues. Yet excess sunshine causes a drought, it births deserts. Throw in some rainfall and life forms benefitting us all, yet an excess of that too causes a flood and life is lost.


Thus, “No emotion is greater than the other.” We are not meant to be happy all the time, sometimes sadness creeps in and that is ok. Every emotion must be fully embraced, every emotion must be fully experienced, for pain and pleasure are both needed for growth.


So I won’t fight these memory clouds that are breaking past my eyelids, i will catch them as they roll down my face. The clouds that break past my lips and force a smile I will embrace, and the clouds that fall deep within and come out with a force, the force of a laugh I will indulge, for at the core of it all is that gift of Christmas Cheer I am so looking for.


Memory clouds filled with food comas and family gatherings, filled with laughter and carols, filled with dance competitions and presents, filled with cake, filled with chocolate cake. The memory clouds full of Christmas cheer I thought were going to end with you will continue.


For if these inadequate clouds of memories I have of you are still so powerful they provide an escape, they provide warmth throughout this highest expression of love…grief, then can you imagine the magnitude of warmth, the number of safe spaces, the POWER! Adequate memories will carry?


Adequate we work towards from henceforth, the gathering of new memory clouds, clouds that lack your physical presence, yet still embody you, with your voice echoing through them all,






for each will contain your first single, which could only have been but a Christmas jingle.



We will be intentional, we will put in the work and make the time to build meaningful memory clouds with the ones we love. We will hug them just a little bit longer, we will listen more, and indulge just a little bit more. We will not forget to enjoy the gift of presence most will miss out on, for we will no longer take it for granted.


We will no longer miss out on the little things, we will notice the uniqueness of each persons laugh, notice how their eyes twinkle, notice how their hands feel, we will memorise the warmth they exhume when they stretch out their hands and draw us closer to them wrapping their hands around us.


We will pay attention to the fact that they have a sweet tooth, have a favourite colour and acknowledge the fact that they have put on a new sweater. We will pay attention to the fact that they have a fondness for classical music, do enjoy a glass of good red wine and indulge themselves with vanilla ice cream once in a while.



But most importantly we will validate their feelings and listen when they are hurt, accepting our faults if the hurt came from us, we will put in that work to correct those wrongs and build meaningful memory clouds of growth, of forgiveness, memory clouds of meaningful relationships, relationships with our parents, with our siblings, with our children, with nephews and nieces, with friends and colleagues, meaningful relationships with the ones we love.



We do sometimes get lost in the cycle of trying to make big moves, lost in trying to build big memory clouds, lost in trying to do big things for the people we love. Forgetting that little drops of small things actually do have a big impact, they eventually do gather, becoming that big memory cloud we were trying to manifest. For far too often we do not get to manifest these big things before the people we were trying to manifest them for are taken from us. So I tell you; focus on the little things.


With this introspection, to continue being the grinch will be such a shame. So these holidays I am going to facilitate amazing experiences for those I have surrounded myself with, I am going to love on them and God I am going to indulge! Gym ain’t got nothing! And I repeat Nothing!!! On me, we try again next year. And your grandchildren, they don’t know what is coming for them, I will smother them so much.


I can’t stop smiling thinking about how happy you must be, for this year you get to shake that Christmas shaker with the angels, excited to cover us all with that cheer, excited about the magic that awaits us. Yet, also worried, worried we might miss out on a few things; possible, but that is ok, the uncertainties of life. But we got this! We will be fine!


So I could sit here with you forever but I know you wouldn’t want that for me, life’s happening and I know you wouldn’t want me to miss out on it. It’s hard but I have to go. I don’t think we ever forget loved ones we lost, I will never forget you, but we must learn to live life without them.


So lets do this, Daddy, let’s pen a date, a day to catch up, a day when we can recount my year and I can tell you all the magic that has happened throughout the year, what do you think??


P.S…I think it’s actually funny how we speak more now than we actually did when you were here.


Until we speak again…

The sun…sunshine and sunflowers

Your Son



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5 תגובות


Beatrice Offei
Beatrice Offei
24 בדצמ׳ 2023

This is lovely. He is probably singing louder than even the angels during this festive season. He truly loved Christmas and all Christmas hymns.

לייק

hephzibah.offei
24 בדצמ׳ 2023

So touching. First Christmas without dad. I really feel his absence but still glad he is in a better place.

לייק
Chef Nii
Chef Nii
24 בדצמ׳ 2023
בתשובה לפוסט של

Yes…First Christmas without Daddy

לייק

Rodney Hyde Longdon
Rodney Hyde Longdon
24 בדצמ׳ 2023

Very touching! Great piece

לייק
Chef Nii
Chef Nii
24 בדצמ׳ 2023
בתשובה לפוסט של

Thank you!!!

לייק
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